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Lies说谎

In life we get told lies constantly, most of them probably well intentioned and harmless. People learn to lie at a young age, as all parents know. Anyone involved in administration would know that people would shade information to make themselves look better, though outright lies are less common as there is the risk of being caught out - first because not everyone can tell lies with a straight face; then because, whereas true facts usually are consistent with each other because of the logic of things and events, while you have to make a lot of effort to make lies consistent. It is easy to slip up, and in terms of cost-benefit, truth is often the best policy.

It therefore struck me as curious that from time to time I have been lied to in a blatant way, and the lie teller was almost always a young female from China. Despite my usual cynicism and scepticism, in such situations, I almost always tended to partly believe the lies, first because I dont see the benefit of telling these lies and why anyone would take such a risk, and also because the lies usually appealed to my vanity in some way "you are so efficient""you understand China so well""your English and Chinese are both so fluent; that translation was really good""I am sure you guidance would really benefit me" or even nicer, so there was a psychological need to believe. Being a highly self-confident person, I tended to feel that if these were lies, I would discover this soon enough; in the mean time, I would know how to avoid being harmed.

One wonders about the environment in Chinese high schools and universities where the girls developed this habit - somewhere along the line, they discovered that lies like this work on people like me.

听到谎话是件普通的事情,大多数谎言并非恶意也没什么害处.凡是家长都知道小孩子很早就学会说谎,而做行政的人必定看到人人都会替自己修饰美化一下,虽然真正的谎话还不是那么多因为危险性太大.够厚脸皮说谎说得好的人并不多,而且容易前后矛盾被人看出.通常还是说实话比较安全

有一样奇怪的是:对我说过些大谎的几乎都是中国来的女孩,而我虽然是个疑心重的人,每次听到这些大谎反而有点信,因为看不出冒这种险有什么好处.

人总是有点虚荣心的,听到"你做事效率真高""你真的很了解中国"你的中英语都这么好,这段文章翻译得好极了"我很迷茫,需要你指导",这类话,甚至更好听的话,总归希望是真的. 何况我自信很强,认为自己有判断能力,如果是谎话迟早我会发现,不必听到每一句都要怀疑

但我有点疑惑中国的高中,大学的环境倒底是什么样的令他们相信这是一种有利的做法.

 

electronic lies 电子谎话

在电子邮件里说谎比当面说谎容易很多,第一不会神情不自然给人看出,第二有时间思考想个比较容易令人接受的说法;至于在网上老头子老太婆可以假装青年,男能扮女,FBI探子能假装13岁少女引诱那些有恋童癖的人来自投法网等等,更显示了电邮容许说谎的功能。

用电邮,不但能够一边说谎一边觉得自己说得好很开心,还可以让站在旁边的朋友看你的谎言和受骗人傻里傻气的回答唧唧地笑,甚至她(通常这样情形的是几个不老实的女孩在一起做的 -  男孩不见得比女孩诚实,但比较不喜欢让自己的私事给朋友知道)能帮你出主意说个更大更好的谎。

如果有人同你当面说完话后,回家后寄个电邮说了写比当面说的好听很多的话,这也许是因为她/他考虑过后,或征求了更多意见有了更好的想法,但你也要记住我刚才说的:在电子邮件里说谎比当面说谎容易很多

早些时候我有谈到

80后的道德问题

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-XIIfDzQobqO5oCYM9UTvZzgKHH4Org--?cq=1&p=85

临老入花丛 - 中国文坛和80后

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-XIIfDzQobqO5oCYM9UTvZzgKHH4Org--?cq=1&p=93

Post 80s New Chinese Literature

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-XIIfDzQobqO5oCYM9UTvZzgKHH4Org--?cq=1&p=88

也许80后的少年因为用惯了电邮,说谎的本领也比以前那代高些

It is much easier to lie by email than face to face, first because you dont need to strain to look natural, second because you have time to think of a good answer. Thus, old people can pretend to be young, male pretend to be female, FBI agents pretend to be 13 year old girls enticing paedephiles to rush into the arms of the law.

Using email, you can lie while actually enjoying the feeling about about how good your lies are. You can be showing your friends your lies as you tell them, and the replies which the dummy on the other side is sending back, giggling while all this is happending. (This usually involves girls - boys are not necessarily more honest, but they are less likely to share secrets with friends.) Your friends can even be suggesting how you can make your lies better and more exciting.

If after someone talks to you face to face, he/she goes away and then sends you a much more pleasing email than what he/she said during your conversation, maybe he/she has given the matter you discussed further thought, maybe he/she received advice from someone, and developed more positive feelings about it. But do keep in mind what I just said, that it is much easier to lie by email than face to face.

In previous articles I discussed some problems relating the post 80s generation

80后的道德问题

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-XIIfDzQobqO5oCYM9UTvZzgKHH4Org--?cq=1&p=85

临老入花丛 - 中国文坛和80后

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-XIIfDzQobqO5oCYM9UTvZzgKHH4Org--?cq=1&p=93

Post 80s New Chinese Literature

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-XIIfDzQobqO5oCYM9UTvZzgKHH4Org--?cq=1&p=88

Maybe because the generation grew up using email, they are better at lying.