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永久女孩


1. 我是一个女孩,一位公主;我在睡觉,已经睡了很久很久

我在等一位王子骑着白马来找我;他找到我的时候,会在我脸上亲一下,我就会醒过来

我是一个女孩;等我的王子来了,我就会变成一个女人 

女孩好还女人好?我不知道;爸爸妈妈老是说我要学做好女孩,不学那些坏女人,所以 他们觉得做女孩比做女人好,要等到我的王子来了,才能做女人

但是女人能登报纸,上电视,写什么宝贝,乌鸦的书;女孩很少登报纸上电视写书 但哈佛好像比较喜欢女孩,所以我看见什么哈佛女孩的书,没见过哈佛女人的书;

以后有一 天我的王子会带我去哈佛,我会问问那些老师,为什么女孩喜欢读书,女人喜欢拍电影; 好像巩俐,舒琪,拍很多电影,很多人看,去看女人;还有很多小电影,都是要女人才 能拍的

女人可以和男人睡觉;有的跟很多男人睡;女孩是一个人睡的;好像我一个人睡了很久 很久,久到我的家人统统老了死了,久到我住的城堡周围长满了丛林野草

白马喜欢在平原上奔驰,不会窜进丛林;我的王子不但要带一把宝剑,还应该带斧头锯 子,在丛林里开出一条路,让他的白马可以冲到我的身边

更简单的方法是放一把火,把丛林野草一起烧死,但这太危险了,也许会把我也烧死

2. 王子带宝剑,因为有一条龙在城堡门口挡路,因为女孩不能随便给人亲,你先杀了龙 才看看行不行

这一条龙是会喷火的;这跟中国的龙不同;中国的龙是喷水的,而且有很多颜色,很 漂亮,不像我这里的龙,都是黑黑的,很凶;

中国的龙有时也会凶,但还是很好心的;蛇就没那么好了;好像有一条蛇,每年要吃掉一个女孩;后来有一个男子把蛇杀掉,救了一个快被吃掉的女孩,那女孩就跟着他,成为女人;但那个男子不是王子,是个侠客

中国的王子太忙了,因为国家很大人口很多,一个女孩给蛇吃掉,不算一回事.还有 人说蛇是我们的祖先神灵,每年吃一个女孩很应该

中国人的祖先叫伏羲女娲,他们上边是人下边是蛇,是哥哥妹妹;洪水把他们一族人都 冲走了只剩下他们,然后他们就变成夫妻,生了很多很多中国人;

哥哥妹妹一起睡觉,是不对的;妹妹应该跟我一样,独自睡在那里等王子来

我们的祖先叫亚当夏娃;夏娃是亚当的肋骨做的,她的基因跟亚当相同,所以她跟亚当睡觉,也违反了近亲繁殖的道理,所以有罪;夏娃能跟蛇讲话,所以她一定有蛇的 头脑;所以我们的祖先跟中国人的祖先差不多

中国有个很聪明的人叫诸葛亮;如果他来救我,他会引这条龙在一个方向喷火烧掉丛树长草,开出一条给白马奔驰的路,但不烧掉我睡觉的城堡;我的王子没受过那么多教育,不过剑法很好,杀一两条龙是没问题的

3. 我怎么会睡着的?因为我碰了一只纺锤;公主是不能碰纺锤的,因为有个女巫这样说

中国的公主没那么多限制;比方七仙女是天上的公主,但她会织布纺纱,她可以碰纺锤, 她还可以每年做一次女人

天上的仙女不大会肮脏,所以那些仙女只是每年洗一次澡,洗澡的时候会有男子来,把 她们的衣服藏起来.她们要跟拿了衣服的男子回家做女人,然后回去天上作女孩 有一次,最年幼最不懂事的七公主,留在男子家里不肯回天上,弄到她爸爸妈妈很生气, 派天兵天将去抓她回去;不过他们倒没生那个男子的气,没处罚他;他还是可以每年一 次去瑶池把他喜欢的女孩子的衣服藏起来;他是不是每年都挑选同一个?我不知道

我的王子为什么挑选我?我也不知道.这大概是命中注定的;但我知道他来了以后,他 不会离开我去救别的女孩,我也不会睡多一次觉等别个王子来救我

4。 王子啊,我等了你太久了

你知道我的朋友白雪吗?她以前很可怜,因为她爸爸找二奶,气死了她妈妈,一个美丽 但坏心肠的二奶;但她后来比我幸运;她也睡了很长时候觉,但她有七个小人照管她的 棺材,清除周围的树木杂草,让她的王子可以轻轻松松地骑着白马到她身边;她的棺材 还是玻璃的,所以王子一眼就看到她多么美丽,爱上了她,亲了她一下,她就把毒苹果 吐出来了

等你砍了树杀了龙,精疲力倦跑来我隔壁,还要先擦掉我脸上蜘蛛网,才看到我的样子;你会觉得值得吗?

如果我醒来,回到一个没有亲人的世界,除了我的王子我什么也没有,只能死死跟着你, 你受得了吗?

你知不知道我这样的女孩现在多么不流行?现在女孩都不要做女孩,要做女人;她们有女孩的身体女人的心

有很多这样的女孩会来找你,因为她们也想拥有王子,哪怕是已经老的王子;也许你很忠诚,很注重诺言,能抵抗他们的诱惑,但等你回到家里,面对着我这个过气的公主, 你心里还会快乐吗?

英俊的王子啊,为什么你要到处奔波,翻山越岭来找一个旧式的女孩?是不是你在一本 书里看到我的故事,或听你妈妈讲过,就发誓要来找我,把我从女巫的恶咒解救出来?

殿下,您不必被你一时冲动的意愿绑一生,我愿意给你自由,原谅你,让你去做更容易, 更令人快乐的事情;我可以留在这个宁静,没有苦难,没有烦恼的世界,不用担心宾拉 登去炸纽约,南极上空的臭氧层,北极冰盖融化,不用看见一个变化多端的世界

我可以什么地方也不去;永远不改变,做个永久的女孩

直到有王子来叫醒我 

Las Vegas Condos

 



漫谈文学 Literary discourse
Mysteries of Lu Xun
红学 mystery of red chamber  
asiajoker.com 永久女孩 知了
Jokes: asiajoker.com
悟思Revelations, by St John of Singapore

shiniao.com

 

八十后 bashihou.com post-80s.com

张悦然的新书 http 张悦然,韩寒,郭敬明的不归路 http 我认识张悦然 http 80后新文学 Post 80s New Chinese Literature http 张悦然纸http Translation of Zhang Yueran's The Highbrow, Please Die First (张悦然 高贵的请先死去) http Translation of 10 Zhang Yueran 张悦然 Essays http Translation of Zhang Yueran's 张悦然 Peachblossom Salvation 桃花救赎 http Translation of Zhang Yueran's 张悦然 Sunflower 葵花 http Translation of Zhang Yueran's 张悦然 Story Xiaoran 小染 http 诗24首 http 新诗五首 http 菊花教主郭敬明 http 金童玉女 http 玉女心经 http 80后青年作家协会 http 孤独的作者 http 80后的道德问题 http 临老入花丛 - 中国文坛和80后 http 张悦然的新书到底是什么名?http

The Forever Girl

1. I am a girl, a princess; I am sleeping; slept for a long time; I am waiting for my prince; when he arrives, he will kiss me and I will wake up 

I am a girl, but when my prince arrives on his white horse, I will become a woman

Is it better to be a girl or a woman? I dont know, but my mom always tells me to be a good girl and not be like those bad women; so she thinks it is better to be a girl; only when I am with my prince should I be a woman

But women can go on TV and get into those newspapers; they write books like "happy hooker"; girls seldom go on TV or write books. They spend more time asleep, like me.
Maybe Harvard prefers girls; I saw a book called "Harvard Girl Liu Yiting"; I have not seen books called "Harvard Woman so and so"

One day my prince will take me to visit Harvard, and I will ask those professors why girls prefer to read books, and women prefer to make movies; like Shu Qi, Gong Li, Zhang Ziyi; they make many movies and many people go to see them, to see women. Girls seldom make movies; especially those pornographic movies; only women can appear in them.

Women can sleep with men; some sleep with many men; girls sleep alone, like I have slept alone for a long long time, so long that my family have all died of old age; so long that long grass and thornbush have overgrown my castle

White horses like to gallop on flat land; they dont like to crawl through bushes; when my prince comes, he needs more than a sword; he would need to bring axe and saw to cut a path through the bush so his white horse can charge to my side

easier solution is to start a fire, but risky; it might burn down the caste and kill me with smoke inhalation

2 My prince need to bring a sword because a dragon blocks the way to the castle: you cant just anyhow kiss a girl; first you kill the dragon; then we can think about kissing

this dragon is very dark, very fierce; it sprays fire; not as nice as Chinese dragons that spray water and have many colours; Chinese dragons are sometimes fierce too, but well meaning;

snakes are not so nice; there was this snake that wanted to eat a girl every year; then this young man saved this girl about to be eaten and killed the snake, and the girl went away with him and became a woman; but that young man was not a prince, but a kungfu fighter

princes in china are too busy; they have a big country and many people to govern; a girl eaten by a snake, what's big deal? some even say snakes are our ancestral spirits and are entitled to eat a girl every year

the ancestors of the Chinese are Fuxi and Nuwa; they were half human and half snake; all their family members were washed away by flood, so they slept together and produced many many chinese people; it is wrong for brother and sister to sleep together; the sister should have slept alone and waited for her prince, like me

our ancestors are Adam and Eve; Eve could talk to the snake and learn about sex from it; so she shared the snake's brain. She came from Adam's rib, so they had the same DNA, and their having sex produces inbreeding and was a sin; Fuxi and Nuwa were brother and sister; our ancestors and chinese ancestors sound kind of similar, dont you think?

There was a very clever Chinese man called Zhuge Liang; if he came to save me, he would make the dragon spray fire in a particular direction, to burn away the bushes and make a path for the white horse; my prince is not as well educated, but good with a sword; killing a couple of dragons should be no problem

3. why did I fall asleep? because I touched a spindle; a witch says princesses cannot touch spindles

the Chinese princesses have more freedom; the weaving girl was a princess, the 7th daughter of the jade emperor; she could spin and weave; she could touch the spindle; she could also be woman once a year

fairies living in heaven dont get dirty often; they only bathe once a year; this is when boys in the near by villages can come and see them, and take their clothes; the girls are supposed to go with the boys and become women, and go back to heaven and become girls again, but princess 7 was naughty; instead of going home, she ran off with cow boy, and her parents had to send heavenly soldiers to get her back; but they were very kind to cow boy; he was not punished, and could still go once a year to Yao pond to have sex with the fairies from heaven; did he always choose princess 7? I dont know

why did my prince choose me? I dont know either; maybe it was all part of the witches' plan; but I know once he comes, he would not go off again and try to save other princesses, and I know I would not fall asleep again to wait for other princes; I am a monogamous kind of person

4 Oh prince, I have been waiting for too long

You know my friend Snowwhite? she was very unfortunate at first: her dad took a mistress, a beautiful but cruel mistress, and her mom died of a broken heart; she too had to sleep and wait for her prince, but she had 7 dwarfs looking after her coffin; they kept vegetation growth under control in the area, and her prince could easily ride his white horse to her side, and her coffin was made of glass, so he could immediately see how beautiful she was and gave her a kiss, and she immediately spat out the lump of poisoned apple

after you have cut through the thornbush and killed the dragon, coming to my side exhausted, you still have to wipe the cobwebs off my face, before you know whether I am pretty or not; would you feel it is all worth while?

after I wake up, I have no family, nothing; I will have to cling to you, my prince, my prince, all the time; would you be able to stand it?

you know how unfashionable a girl like me is these days? these days, girls dont want to be girls; they want to be women, as quickly as possible; they have the girl's body but the woman's heart;

many such girls will throw themselves at you, because they too want a prince, even an aging one; maybe you are loyal, you keep to your vows of fidelity; but when you come home and see this outdated princess, would you feel content?

Handsome prince, why do you choose to go on this long journey, crossing mountains and wading rivers, just to find yourself a wife, an old fashioned girl? was it because your mom told you my story, or you read it in a book, and you vowed to come and rescue me from this curse of the evil witch?

My lord, you need not be bound by a rash promise; I am happy to release you from your oath; you can regain your freedom, to do other things that give you greater pleasure, to spend your life with other people easier to find than me

I can just stay here, in this land where nothing happens; I need not worry about Bin Laden setting off bombs in New York, or the ozone hole above south pole, or the melting of the northern ice cap; I can continue sleeping here and not go anywhere, with neither joy nor sorrow; I can stay a girl forever

Until a prince wakes me up...